Well...Hubs and I don't really celebrate Valentine's day. I guess you can categorize us in those who believe it is just a Hallmark holiday.
We do try and make time for each other, but we don't buy cards or do anything extravagant. Our feelings on this has always been to celebrate each day and appreciate the love we have for each other. Otherwise, I'd become one of those women who waits all year for my husband to disappoint me. Isn't that how it works. Husband forgets Valentine's day and never lives to hear the end of it. I like Steven too much to be mad at him. It's probably because he has a Charlie Brown head :)
This year are plans are to watch The Notebook (hubs favorite). I think my favorite is P.S. I LOVE YOU.
And fruit and yummy dip.
Here is our recipe:
1 package of 1/3 of fat creme cheese
1 bottle of marshmallow creme
Combine and enjoy with your favorite fruit (pineapple is my fav)!!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I'm missing week 29. Its on my camera but until then, check out the bump :)
Week 28
Week 30
We are well into our seventh month!! Lilly Mae will be here before I know it!! I can hardly wait!
We've been looking for a home for Tucker since August when we found out I was pregnant. There were several reasons why we needed to find Tucker a forever home. The biggest reason: he needs more care than what we can give him. I know that when Lilly Mae comes, our pups are going to get ignored and be put on the back burner, not because I want them there, but because I will be working on adjusting to mommy life :). It took a long time to find his forever home. We first tried to find a home through word of mouth. Then posters. Then we put him back into the adoption system from where we got him. I LOVE them. One More Dog Rescue is such a wonderful rescue and they love all their pups dearly. It was so hard letting him go, but I know that he will be able to be loved more than hubs and I could. It broke my heart as I felt we had let him down, but we loved him for the time we had him.
My thoughts today is that I feel relieved. I feel relieved to know that I don't have to worry about his care. I can focus on having one dog. Having two boy dogs, especially the two we have, was just too rowdy for me. Maybe I should rethink wanting two boys :). I am so happy for Tucker!!
I just stumbled upon 500 Days of Summer on tv. Oh how I love this movie. But its sooooo frustrating! He such a wuss and she is such a tease. That makes me ANGRY!! But the dance scene from the movie, so epitomizes what that feeling of butterflies in your tummy is like. This makes me so happy.
At one point, when the hubs and I were 500 days into our marriage, I wrote this:
500 days of marriage…and counting
I
have loved being married to my best friend. And it hasn’t always been a walk in
a park, but I don’t think I would want it that way. I began dating Steven as a
junior in high school. I was a lovesick puppy for that boy. I knew that there
was something incredibly special about him, and each day I am blessed by his
personality and friendship. Coming from a family that didn’t stay together, I
was determined to not let that affect me. And it didn’t , for a while. I am a
very analytical person, to a fault sometimes. I ignored the stress and feelings
from my parents divorce and once Steven and I got married, it hit me like a
brick wall. I was so blessed to have had Steven by my side as I sorted through
all my emotions, and there was plenty ;). To be married isn’t about showing
everyone else how lucky you are. I just don’t think that that what its about. I
have always struggled with comparing myself to others. When we get caught up in
how much bigger the ring is or how fancy the wedding is or how my husband is
sweeter, it just seems like a charade.
We have always referred to our
relationship as a football game. There were off seasons, on seasons, pre
seasons, and post seasons. Now that we are in a seasonand are learning how to build a better
offense and defense, so to speak, it is wonderful to sit back and enjoy the
game. Steven has been an amazing person in my life. He has been my best friend
and a great coach. I have cherished the times that we get to spend together.
They haven’t always been often, but they are always filled with love. I know
that even in moments of stress and frustration, he will continue to love me.
Something that I needed to learn; somehow, my idea of love was it was meant for
perfect people, so “Hannah, you better get your act together.” I constantly
talked about the what ifs in life and compared myself and our relationship to
others. I could never measure up. Its not perfect, but I have let it go and
allowed myself to be love, be myself, and be messy. This has a been a challenge
that Steven has so gently helped me with.
Dating in high school is never an
easy accomplishment, scratch that, dating isn’t easy and neither is high
school. The combination is disastrous. Everyone has an opinion and it just gets
so darn confusing. That is how I felt. Sometimes we won’t date or be vulnerable
until were perfect. That is not the goal. I don’t believe that you should spend
your whole life searching for the “one.” That, I believe causes, us, women to
be critical and it will allow us to make an excuse for not fixing ourselves.
Our relationship has never been perfect and we have always wanted to make that
clear, so that others can ask us for help and we have the humility to ask
others for help. It really comes down to understanding God’s love for us and
relating that to marriage. Those big fights, seem to dwindle and dwindle when
we realize that it is not about being right, but doing what is best for each
other. I honestly believe that no matter how much the other person hurt you,
you can still be sorry for something and learn a whole lot. I know that each
day I’m gonna mess up, and I give that same grace toward Steven. We can’t
always be perfect and respond perfectly.
I have quite the different outlook
on marriage. I know that each day is a moment for me to grow and share that
with someone else. I know that laughing usually makes things better. I know
that its not always about me and making me feel special, but love is
sacrificial and unconditional. I know that Steven is a wonderful man that
continually surprises me with his intelligence, sense of humor, and love. I
know that he will be a great father. And he is my best friend.
I have currently created a book club on Facebook for friends that live far from me that I miss and want to connect with regularly. So what better way than a book club! Here is the pre-week question. Oh yea, we are reading the controversial Love Wins by Rob Bell.
Where does your image of hell come from? or What do you think hell consists of?
My response:
My idea of hell was first formulated from my time in sunday school. It's a evil place where bad people go. Then later in high school I was taught that it was a place of incessant torture, where everything and anything miserable would be present there. It was the epitome of suffering, the opposite of heaven. But then entered a period in my life when I stopped listening and agreeing with everything I heard and began questioning faith for myself and really making it my OWN faith. I'm still not sure about who goes to hell and what hell really is. But I do believe that it exists, that its miserable, and that it is a place for those who have chose to ignore God's calling (I cringe when I write that). To those who question me following a God who would punish someone who didn't love them. I ask them the simple question of why they dislike those who have disagree or persecuted them. Let's be honest we are not perfect people and will admit that I cannot even begin to imagine the reasons of God. His beauty alone astounds me. But with everything I believe God sacrificed his son for the whole world. And that is a reason why I don't deserve heaven. I can't earn it and I can't be a good enough Christian to get there. I can only worship and glorify the God I love and accept his wonderous grace that has been given to me. So in summary, I guess I do believe that the God I love would punish those who have openly admitted that they despise his being. But just by saying that I have created a line, which therefore creates a gray area. What qualifies as 'despising God.' And to that I say 'I refuse to live in hypotheticals.' Its up to each individual if they decide they wholeheartedly hate God. I'm not there to make that choice for them.
