Coffee Date

If we were having coffee today, I would probably order an exorbitant amount of coffee. Last night was a doozy. I'm not sure if Little Miss is teething or sick, but she struggled to sleep last night. She also woke up to feed and then started crying. It hurts so much to see her ache. 

Thank goodness she work up with a smile, as always. 

I also had a horrible dream.. HORRIBLE

And of course it was weird.

I will just tell you briefly...

I AM NOT READY TO LEAVE LITTLE MISS.

I have left her with my MIL for an hour but I haven't gone longer. 

I dreamt that I had to go to work and she was put in a daycare of some sort.

Going back to work has been on my mind a lot. 

You see I gt my teaching job and then found out I was pregnant the day school began. 

I had always dreamed of being a home school teacher while my babies were growing up so that I could work, but have a flexible schedule.

Unfortunately, just when I thought 'oh good, jobs for teachers are coming back.'

A charter school nearby, that employs home school teachers, closed.

I know taht next year whether I work full time or part time, God will help me in this area ofpain (leaving Lilly with someone). 

Thousands of women do it, so why can't I?

I think that there is so much I want to give Lilly and ways I want to raise her. So often I have seen daycare systems not fully take care of all their clients, and who can blame them.

Its an area I need to be praying more about.

Thank you for letting me share.