Creating Discovery Time

As an educator, I place endless pressure on myself to have a child that is high performing in everyway. Like I mentioned in previous posts, being a parent requires you to have a thick skin and trust your instinct versus jumping on the bandwagon and going with the flow. I've  always been a believer that play is more educational than any program I can create at home.

Discovery time is an environment that I've created for my daughter. I created themed weeks this year that begin with basic concepts (shapes, numbers, colors, etc) as well as creative themes (holidays, seasons, time of year events). This has not only made learning more meaningful, but my days as a parent purposeful. I typically begin the week with vocabulary words or a book we can talk about that is focused on the theme. My daughter was 2 years old when I began this and it is more about exposure than her acquiring skills. Last week we discussed art, I'm not expecting her to even remember what we did, but purely for the fun of trying new things and approaches. I have also found that incorporating Montessori activities has been great for fine motor and attention development. I put together a bin with a few colored cotton puffs and had her use a spoon to transport  the puffs from one bin to another. This was very entertaining for her. I've also created matching boards for her using old boxes from Costco.

I think it is important to develop a love for learning at home. As children develop, it becomes more and more crucial for them to be self motivated learners. Although learning at school can be intense and stressful at times, begin finding what activities and hobbies your child enjoys and finds entertaining. This will prove much more beneficial than whatever cartoon is on or phone app is available. Until each student is provided a laptop at school, there is much we can continue to do at home to cultivate a love for learning. Games and family activities are a great way to grow, bond, and have fun learning new things. I believe my intense love for learning was developed at home when my dad purchased me an old college math textbook and told me I was smart enough to do the work in the book. We also played Jeopardy each night, so trivia is the way to my heart. I looked back at my childhood and realized how those little things taught me to constantly strive for new knowledge. I hope that my own kids will find that thirst quenched as well.

 

Whatever you decide make sure that not all the time spent learning is structured. Children learn through play and it's important to have that time, whether it's building blocks, dressing up, or creating skits for the family, encourage your children to be imaginative and problem solvers.

 

 

How do you develop life long learners?

The ABC's of Education

 



  CCSS (Common Core State Standards): Adopted by forty three states currently. Our nation's approach to standardized and unify what students are learning across America. Although it has received much flack (due more to the curriculum), Common Core is not a curriculum, by the end result. Districts, schools, and teachers have choices in their teaching approach to help their students' reach these goals.

ELL (English Language Learner): A student whose first language is not English or English is not the primary language at home. Students receive specialized services upon qualification, as based on need.

GATE (Gifted and Talented Education): A specialized teaching approach that encourages and develop students that show extraordinary ability in their learning acquisition. Teachers are required to be certified in order to teach GATE. It is an individualized approach, although students are usually clustered in classrooms.

PARCC (Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers): One of two standardized test that aligns with the CCSS. A few states have opted to take this approach and allow their schools to participate in this testing (AR, CO, DC, IL, LA, MD, MA, NJ, NM, NY, OH, RH, PA).


PLC (Professional Learning Community): A strategy implemented at districts and school sites to create unity among grade levels and set aside planning time for both immediate and future needs.

RTi (Response to Intervention): The educational systems approach for rehabilitating students that are struggling in school. It allows the student to receive individualized and specialized teaching approaches that will better prepare the students for learning.

Smarter Balanced: One of two standardized tests that are used by states to assess student's learning as it relates to CCSS.

 TK (Transitional Kindergarten): A newer program to California's elementary schools. Students are now mandated to be five by the start of school. Student's whose birthday does not fall on or before that date, may be enrolled in the school site's Transitional Kindergarten program, which allows the students to receive a bridging year between preschool and Kindergarten. Districts and school sites have free reign, currently, in their approach to educating these four, almost five, year olds. It is not a remediation class and is separate from the curriculum learned in Kindergarten.

 
 What other words would you like clarified?

Book Review: School Starts At Home

As always I'm constantly perusing the aisles of the library and stumbled upon this quick and easy read. It is chalk full of wonderful helpful ideas to encourage learning in your child. It describes the exact feeling that I have come across as a mom and as a teacher: "How can my child be successful."

Should the school be responsible to teaching my child math, English, social studies, etc, as well as manners, independence, and money management? No. I've been in the classroom and have seen how hard students try to learn, and for some it comes so easily, where others have to work at it. But rarely have I seen a student with a home environment that supports learning struggle in school. I understand that as a parent not every teacher my children have will be their favorite or will even be good at their job, I'm still responsible for my child's learning and love of it.

This could be controversial, but I hope not. It seems that there is always emotion involved when it comes to homework, classroom management, and student success. Why are we expecting someone who has known our child for a year expect to cater to their every need in the classroom? That expection is placed on teachers every day along with the amount of complaints and frustrations parents are addressing with them. Of course our voice as parent's should be heard, but our actions should probably preceed those complaints.





















This book encourages parents to work with their child and encourage learning at home and throughout the school year especially during the summer. Learning doesn't and shouldn't look like it does in the classroom, but some structured is necessary. Fuller encourages reading to and with your student, but also showing them your love of reading as well. Television and movies should be reserved for special occasions because there are other ways to encourage learning.

Fuller encourages parents to work with students and support them in their learning and continue to foster a love of learning. She, like me, sees that schools should not be responsible for teaching and developing a life-long learner.

I encourage you to read this quick helpful and positive book on creating a learning environment at home.

Let me know your thoughts on this read.

What struggles have you found with your student as a learner or in the classroom?





Mommy Workouts: How to Get Them In

The need to stay healthy and fit has become an hot topic; however, it really is about being healthy and not about being skinny. I've found that raising my daughter I have to be careful on how I talk about my size and how I view myself. With that being said, I found how important it is have energy and strength throughout the day.


I found that morning runs and walks were very easy to get in. I'm a part of a Moms Run This Town, which is helpful to stay motivated and accountable for getting those workouts in. I've found it to be a supportive and encouraging environment for feeling like a capable mommy on those stressful mornings. Post nap walks have also become very popular at our house, it buys the time before dinner.

 

After having my daughter I stumbled upon Tone It Up, a community created by fitness enthusiasts like myself, Karena Dawn and Katrina Scott. These ladies inspire and support women out there looking to get healthy. They have a membership for $150 dollars that is a lifetime membership and you receive discounts, exclusive emails, and countless recipes to accompanying your fitness lifestyle. I'm not a member but have benefitted greatly from their Youtube Videos and Beach Babe DVD (Their 3rd one is rereleased now!!). The combine fun with their Fine Toning Method. Most of their workouts are between 7-20 minutes, easy for the mom on the go. Typically, I'd pair 2 workouts during naptime. They have recently committed to providing a weekly schedule for you.

Whatever it is that you are interested in find a way to make time for it or include your family with you. Often times our family will plan a day to go running together, it makes family time fun and also shows your children that staying fit is important. Many of my friends take their kids on bike rides or have them join in running with them. Also remember that having a healthy lifestyle is a journey and not a goal, one day at a time.

You can read my post on having a healthy lifestyle here.

How do you manage time and parenting with staying healthy and active?

These are all my opinions. Links included were done so to be helpful.

Preventing Learned Helplessness

Preventing Learned Helpless and Developing Confidence

As a mom, I have often found myself 'hovering' around my child, ensuring both her safety and obedience. From the age of birth till 2, I become a 'snow plow' parent, plowing away the obstacles in my child's life to ensure a smooth and safe journey from each activity that she created. Finding myself on the jungle gym with my daughter, sitting in every room with her, monitoring her every move. Although I believed that I was helping and supporting her, I also needed to give her independence as she grew. It become obvious when I saw other children her age showing boldness and climbing up the stairs and going down the slide fearlessly. My daughter struggled to feel confident climbing the stairs. In this moment, I realized that it was time to give my daughter more power and rein allowing her to develop confidence. Developmentally, I believe that children do require a bit of 'snowplowing,' but being aware of their growth is crucial, as well as their temperament. My child does not posses a dare-devil approach to life, she assess and weighs options, even at a young age, teaching independence was a struggle more so than obedience due to her innate nature.


A continued snow-plow approach develops what is know as learned helplessness, the lack of motivation and confidence to solve problems due to their conditioned state of being helped. It is natural for parents and teachers to want to help our children and kids, most of the time it is necessary, however, it is not how much we help them, but in what way that causes issues. I know that had I continued to hover over my daughter and not allow her to fail and make mistakes, I too would have conditioned her to learn helplessness.

When we pull a part the word, learned helplessness, we see both learn and help, contradictory by nature. To learn is defined as to "gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught," (Oxford Dictionaries). The definition of help: "make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering one's services or resources" (Oxford Dictionaries). In essence we are teaching our child to "acquire skill by being taught" to constantly accept other's ability "to make it easier for" themselves. We are creating a culture that lacks motivation.

How can we create proactive students/children?





















First, it is important to self assess our behavior as parents or teachers with students. It is especially easy to be quick to offer help to students that may have a learning difference, difficult situation, or even an injury. It is important to take a broader view on our roles as parents and look at how can I actually help teach my child the skill they are requiring help for. Most times children really do need help, but their motivation and drive to attempt to solve the problem has been downplayed so often that they lack the tools to feel confident and capable. We will need to take  active steps to help our children learn how to solve a problem.

 Back to my story about being on the jungle gym with my daughter, I still occasionally go on the jungle gym with her, especially if it is a new park, and help her observe safe spots and appropriate activities her. Here I am using what I know about my daughter's need to observe and assess situations and accompany her. Then I help her choose a slide or two to go down with me. She sits on my lap and we ride down. The next time we go up she sits between my legs so as feel the sensation of riding alone. Finally, she is required to tour the jungle gym on her own. When she is ready to attempt to slide down, I help pull her legs to the edge and help her down. Finally, she will need to do it herself.

I create steps that start with full dependence and slowing progress towards independence. This safely ensure that a child feel both safe and confident in any given situation. Hopefully, using this approach you will begin to see how important it is to give our children opportunities to attempt success. Supporting with words of encouragement is also a key component in helping students to not feel stuck in their failure, resorting back to that learned helplessness.

What my daughter has taught me

You here it all the time "your kids will change you." "They'll teach you patience."

Sure sure, I understood that because being a teacher, I learned so much from my students.

But things are much more personal when the lessons come from your children.

But Lil has taught me how resilient children are. It was always a fear of mind that I would have to go back to work. That fear was crippling. When it was brought up, I refused to let it be an option. My thoughts were "I can't do that to her," "She'll never forgive me," "It will ruin her." It brought me to tears often. I felt that I would be choosing work over her. The love that I had for her has grown immensely and her adaptability with me going back to work has made me comforted and proud. Even though I am only working part-time, I miss her dearly during the days and often have to give myself a reality check that I am NOT ruining her.

Lil has taught me how learning is a process, not a destination. Being a teacher, I was destined to make sure my babies were the smartest. That they would be walking first, talking up storms and initiating friendships with others. I wanted to be able to brag about how 'advanced' she was. Thank you Lilly for not letting me be like that. Seriously, who likes to be around those people?!!! As others around her were crawling and getting into things, Lilly would sit and watch. She would entertain herself with a toy and was content with watching things around her. As her first birthday approached, I was eager to want to push her into walking. But I was reminded to as to what kind of parent I wanted to be: A Pusher or An Encourager. I chose the latter. And its been such a rewarding experience to see now all that she can do. Not because I pushed her, but because she developmentally can. I love to see her work problems out and be persistent. I love to see how cautious and calm she is. Its her personality after all. Despite the comments "Oh you just got an easy one," I truly believe that it is our approach to child rearing and finding the one that encourages and brings out the best in children. Even though it sometimes makes me sad that Lilly is in such an independent stage, I am SOOO PROUD that she has developed confidence in herself.

The life of a little one IS hard. Its so easy to say, "What's so hard, you're a baby. You've got it made." I know I am guilty of it. But seriously, imagine being in a place, you've never been and trying to communicate and navigate it all. When you ask someone in this new place a question. They mutter something to you. You continue to ask. That would be very difficult.They get more upset. You ask one more time, and they shout at you and point for you to leave. Do you get where I'm coming from (if not, I have a weird affinity for analogies, if it doesn't make sense, I apologize)And although Lilly gets, what I think, is frustrated easily, all of this really is new for her. And she hasn't yet developed the ability to make choices, rationalize, or understand the why. For goodness sakes, I still don't understand the why. I really feel like this lesson is the most important one I've learned. It's so easy to think that our stage of life is the most difficult, but I think we've got it easier than the little ones. They are learning trust, learning independence, learning about their environment.

What a blessing it is to be able to have a little one. To see them grow. Babies are such a reminder to love the simplicity in life and be challenged by the BIG world around us!

What lessons have you learned from others?

Follow Hurley Love on Bloglovin

Book Review: The Whole Brain Child

Well what a book. 

Definitely eye opening and full of goodies.

I loved reading this book as an educational book, but found it to be so relevant in my parenting life as well.

This book is centered on the idea of the whole child. The whole child is accessing a child's needs physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This has found itself into education and I haven't seen much referred to in the parenting realm. But here it is!!

I believe as both an educator and a mama, how important it is to be whole. 

I find myself often off balance and know that I'm one run a way from a good mood.

It is neat that I have found that running helps me sort out problems, keeps me physically active, and is rejuvenating. 

This isn't the case for everyone.

Especially babies. 

I can totally picture myself telling Lil lets go for a run as she is crying and in a bad mood. I'll remind myself now not to do that.

But its so easy to just assume a 'logical' solution to our child's needs when they are upset, but sometimes creating that solution is ignoring what they really need.

Let me be more clear.

Its easy to tell your child 'It's okay, It's okay.' But really are they? They just fell down and we sometimes ignore their hurt so as not create a scene. Don't get me wrong, I do it too. 

But as they get older, will they be afraid to express their feelings because of that attitude we had as we handled their problems? 

This books talks about how to solve those issues. How to get to the root of what your child is really saying. 

I loved how the book is made up of 12 strategies. One of my favorite being Name it to Tame It. This stategy deals with helping the child understand their feelings and finding a strategy to change it. 

For instance, your child is crying at bedtime, you ask how they are feeling and they tell you they are scared. 

Instead of saying "It's okay, nothing will happen."

You ask "Why are you scared? I understand that when it is nighttime, it can be a scary time. What are some things that you can dream about tonight that will be exciting... and so on.

It's a great read. Lots of words, but full of helpful strategies.

I gave this book 4 out of 5 hearts.

What strategies do you use with your little one to avoid meltdowns?

 

  Follow Hurley Love on Bloglovin

If I could write a parenting book...

If I could write a book on parenting ,half of it would be dedicated to teaching your child how to sleep. 

Seriously!!

I've read so many books on the topic that even the librarian noticed. She asked me how lil was doing. ;)

It's been no mystery to those arounde how much I've been struggling with helping lil to get enough sleep. 

Since about December she was entering a weird state where she would only sleep for 20 minutes. I scolded myself at what a horrible parent I was. Despite everyone telling me "it will get easier," I just didn't believe them.

I learned during this time that babies don't enter a heavy sleep until after 20 minutes of falling asleep. 

t night we were still nursing Lil to sleep so I knew at least she was getting some rest. 

We tried everything; from getting her to soothe with a paci, car rides, ergo walks, and stroller rides. Although I got in great shape from exercising everyday, sometimes twice, a part of me knew that our lives could not always be doing this. 

5 months later nothing changed. We still nursed her to sleep or pushed her in a stroller for naptime. 

I decided to give cry it out a try. 

This method went against everything in my mamaness stood for. 

After about a month of trying it, it worked. Lil would cry/whine for about 10 minutes and be asleep. 

Scene: We change her diaper, give her Melvin, turn on Pandora to Rockabye Baby music, close the blinds, and put her in her crib.

Side note; I want to explain how we did this. I first had to notice when lil would get tired. She would rub her eyes and become fussy. If after 20 minutes she didn't settle down, we did without a nap, which was very difficult. On occasion when learning her sleep cycle I did let her cry for an hour. 

Okay so we got her to fall asleep, but no more than 1 hour would she sleep Nd I knew she needed at least 3 hours of naps during the day. That I was confident in. 

What was it?

I soon recognized that she was waking up sweating and put two and two together and began putting her to sleep in just a diaper. This helped quite a bit. It still got warm in her room occasionally due to the triple degree weather :(.

Then came night time in the crib.

We decided as a family that we would wait until after our vacation to do so. We stopped a few of her middle of the night feedings while in Tahoe. When she'd wake we'd bounce her back to sleep or sometimes just let her cry in our bed until she found a comfortable position. 

Then came the moment. We put her in without a night feeding. She woke up about an hour later and we brought her to our room. This happened twice. On the third night, SHE DID IT!!! SHE SLEPT 13 HOURS.

I still didn't get as much rest due to the fact that I was worried she wasn't breathing in there.

Happy to say that she is doing great and though its not perfect, this was the right time for us. She's growing up so much!!

How did sleep training go for you?

I'm Not Good Enough

I've been trying to walk every day in April. Just something I thought would be a good idea. I'm a runner and walking is very difficult for me because it makes me feel weak and lazy. So it really pushes me to drop that mentality and stop and enjoy the weather and beauty around me. Plus I get to carry Lilly in the ERGo and she always makes funny sounds and noises that crack me up.

Well at the end of my walk I told myself these words "STOP, you are good enough!'

Often when I am not around others to express my thoughts, my inner voice gets the best of me.

That competitiveness that fuels my running also destroys my confidence as a woman, wife, and mother.

Again I was worrying about Lilly and if she was "good enough" and meeting everyone's expectations.

I hate writing those words. Its really embarrassing how often I think about myself and make everything out to be about me.

"oh no is someone talking about me."

"her reaction makes me feel like she doesn't think I'm a good parent."

Its funny because I was so confident about having a home birth and now as an attachment parent, I am falling prey to the negativity that I think others are thinking about me.

Are you still tracking with me?!

Why do we live in such a competitive culture. As a teacher, I see it all the time. Why didn't Johnny get an A on his test? Why is Sally not good in math?

Why can't we except that our kids are naturally good at everything and starting praising and appreciating them for what they are great at. And also teaching them the hard work that is needed to get better at something.

Okay I digress.

What I'm really trying to say is that I want to be more encouraging to others around me. I want to strengthen their confidence as a parent.

Do I feel insecure that I have to admit that Lilly still sleeps with us? YEP, and why? To appease others?

Why do I care? Because I feel that everyone has a right to an opinion and that they are right in their opinion.

Guess I don't understand of an opinion. :)

I'm really trying to break this cycle of negative thoughts and am hoping to find others to keep me accountable.

I guess we really are our worst critic.

As a parent have you had a hard time with opinions of others? Or am I the only one?

 

  Follow Hurley Love on Bloglovin

Lilly 11 Months

Wowzers!! I more month till Little Miss celebrates a year. I can't believe that a year ago today I was thinking that she was going to be coming early. Ha!! She was already teaching me patience in the womb.

This month was filled with many fun things.

First plane ride 4-25

First trip to Hawaii

Two more teeth (Right molar top and bottom)

Eating 'big girl' food

Teaching her nose, eyes, mouth

Still loves Mother Goose at the Library

Drums

Makes sounds (mama, bub-bub)

Makes a lisp and spitting sound with tongue

Tried peanuts, almond milk, and walnuts (no reaction)

Beginning to like ice cream and chocolate (first taste she seemed indifferent)

Still loves quinoa

Reaches for others

Shows preference to others holding her

Gets upset when a toy is taken away

Shows anger and frustration (sometimes in the form of biting and pinching)

Loves the Ergo and going for walks and runs

Loves to hold hands and 'walk'

Can pull herself up to standing

Crawls with right leg straight and pushes off

LOVES water (to drink)

Got her big girl carseat

Sometimes gives kisses when asked :)

Weighs: 22 (my guess)

Height: 30 inches (my guess)

Here is a sneak peak of our CAKE SMASH photos.

Thanks Lauren for the cake!!

 

  Follow Hurley Love on Bloglovin