Friday, September 14, 2012

Becoming Babywise...I guess I'm not.



So before I started this book, I didn't think I would find anything useful! Well I did. But you are going to have to sort through my sarcasm and anger when I originally posted this.

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Is it just me or does this book have a negative tone?
It seems more than a little judgemental.

I will first off say that I am a mother who believes in demand feeding.
My big issue is that Ezzo makes demand feeding look ridiculous. In fact he says that this can create child centered parenting, which 'if you parent this way, you yourself may end up with some form of psychosis.'

RUDE!

I'm sure he was just being funny...

The book harps a lot on sleep patterns and feeding, well in regards to scheduling. I do agree (WHAT?!, I know) that an infant can't rule the household. There needs to still be time for mom and dad to strengthen their relationship. With that being said I don't think that creating a rigid schedule does that. With my little one, she fell into a pattern on her own. I do believe that not all babies are like her. She didn't suffer with colic or any infant ailments. Enzo says that by creating a predictable schedule a baby shouldn't suffer from colic. Not sure that I agree on that one.

And of course the dreaded sleeping with your child debate. He states that not only could you roll over your child, but you shouldn't create a routine that you will eventually need to retrain. So I guess I should throw out my diapers and work on elimination communication. Isn't potty training retraining? My other argument with those against co-sleeping is don't I co-sleep with my husband? So me, a grown woman, is able to sleep with someone else, but my 3 month old can't. Oh that makes sense now...(sorry for the sarcasm).

Co-sleeping is a positive philosophy for me because I have read that:
(those are just a few)

Here were a few articles about co-sleeping deaths and alcohol and drugs
http://clintonherald.com/local/x211862167/Man-charged-in-baby-s-death
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2012/04/vanessa_clark_second_sids_deat.php

So why is not safe to co-sleep with your baby? Oh if you are on drugs or are drunk....got it! I hate media sometimes.

Back to the book: Overall the book was really harsh and really only mentioned that you can parent two ways. 
You can parent with a schedule or you can let the baby make the schedule. And if you do the latter you are a horrible parent.
Realistically, we all know that there are several ways to parent. There will be times that I let things get by, that are schedule required flexibility. I have probably fed Lilly more than waiting for her to cry it out.
I did agree that babies do have feeding, waketime, then sleeptime However, I just don't think you should lump babies together into two categories.
My overall opinion of this book is that I am glad I red it, but I don't think I would recommend it. 
Let's face it...I'm an attachment parent and if that means I have to 'retrain' my child eventually to sleep on their own, then so be it. :)
What are your thoughts on Babywise? Have you read it?
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8 comments:

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this! I have co-slept with all mine and its the only way I could get sleep While breastfeeding. And I love the snuggle time.

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    1. ABSOLUTELY!!! I sometimes get teased because I never put Lilly down when she falls asleep in my arms. I just know that one day she won't want momma to hold her...cue the tears...makes me think of I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

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  2. haha, I've been waiting to hear your thoughts on Babywise cause I didn't want to give you any opinions before hand. SO many friends of mine use this method and as soon as I read it I was almost mad. I even talked to lots of doctors about this method and they emphatically said, "DO NOT let you newborn cry it out in their crib, they are not learning anything yet they just need you." The other thing is, the book offers that you will have a happier, more adapted child but every child and parent I know that uses babywise is CONSTANTLY stressed cause their baby is NEVER on the schedule they SHOULD be on. I prefer that if she's not as hungry today then fine, if she's tired a little earlier fine or if she wants to push naptime fine. We are different everyday so why can't they be...ok I am ranting now! Glad you read it :)

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    1. I love you girl! Missing you and Ju Ju B. Let's make a date :)

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  3. I didn't read the book but have researched Babywise when trying to figure out what's right for our boys. I completely agree with you! Children cannot be lumped into two or even five categories! What I've found is that my babies create their own schedule and it is my job to encourage it and mold their natural tendencies into what works for us all. Sometimes we CIO, when they were old enough!! Over six months, not 3 weeks, and I always try nursing first (I know, bad babywise nurse on demander...). And if he needs extra cuddles at night then sometimes he sleeps in our bed. It's what works for us and for him :)

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    1. Amen!!! I do feel that it you approach parenting with flexibility then baby usually follows!

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    2. Hannah I love this. When Drew was born a bunch of my other mom friends were having babies and using this book, so I decided to read it. I couldnt get through it. I couldn't do it at all. Besides the fact that Drew was always hungry, he was my baby and hearing him scream was something I couldn't handle. He fell into his own routine and at 15 months sleeps 13 hours at night and has a 2 hour nap. I am proud to say I am not baby wise lol and attatchment parenting is for me :)

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    3. Well you can tell Drew is a happy baby! Its just funny because those who are so against attachment parenting don't want their baby to rule the house, but then they are so regimented that they don't go anywhere because they are stuck to a schedule. Hmmmmm :)

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