Thursday, January 24, 2013

Don't Wake A Sleeping Baby

The following post is written from a personal standpoint and is not meant to judge or criticize anyone.

I was so good about reading up on attachment parenting BEFORE Lilly was born, so I was so confident in my parenting style.

I guess I didn't read enough because now that in the thick of it.

I feel lost.

I feel subject to people's criticism.

I feel sensitive

I feel unsuccessful.

I know that "all babies are different" but I can't seem to shake my need for striving toward perfection when I feel helpless.

I break down. I stress out. And I have a mopey session.

But rest assured. I have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.

My confidence as a parent will never be found in perfection and I have to let it go.

I read an article on sleeping and realized its NOT my fault.

There is so much pressure to have a baby be independent so young and I have rooted my beliefs in attachment parenting because that works for us.

In this article by Dr. Sears, it states
"An important fact for you to remember is that your baby's sleep habits are more a reflection of your baby's temperament rather than your style of nighttime parenting. And keep in mind that other parents usually exaggerate how long their baby sleeps, as if this were a badge of good parenting, which it isn't. It's not your fault baby wakes up."

That is seriously all I needed to hear.
It's not my fault.

I'm not ruining my baby.

I also learned that the reason Lilly was waking up after 20 minutes was due to her sleep cycle. Babies don't fall into deep sleep right away. They have a period of light sleep beforehand.

I should have read this a while ago, but I glad I have now!!

I really want to stress that this isn't for everyone. Keep in mind, I'm that crunchy mom who had her baby at home in a tub ;)

How did you make it through sleepless nights with your little one?


  1. Hannah, Thank you for posting this! I have had such a hard time this month with my baby girl sleeping. She's been waking up in the middle of the night and just needing to be cuddled. She just turned 1 in december and I feel like everything changed. I've been trying to go with the flow and kind of follow her need, but sometimes it's so hard because I don't FEEL like I'm doing a good job because she's waking up or not napping well. Thank you again for the encouragement

    1. I hear ya momma! I wish we were more of an encouraging society, but we are so quick to judge. I know I am. Being a mommy is so difficult because no one else has had your baby. That means that no matter what you read it can be hurtful and helpful. I am glad this brought some encouragement to you. She a busy girl now and her brain is racing as she is taking in all that information. Many blessings to you. Feel free to email, tweet, or chat with me if you need a bit more encouragement :)

  2. oh my gosh! isa wakes up frequently, as well! and people's responses were generally, "huhhhh? no, babies are supposed to be sleeping through the night by now!"

    but we also co sleep with isa, so maybe she wakes up just to try out how fast we can tend to her because she enjoys are affection and attention. or maybe it's because she's such a busy, active baby that sleep bores her (sleep bores me, too). so many possibilities, but neither my parents nor myself remember MY sleep habits as an infant, so i try to not put any pressure on isa or on myself. but you're right, this is a very sensitive and stressful topic

    1. We cosleep too! The article I read is pro-cosleep and it helps babies not forget to breath. That sounds silly, but its true. I do think people over exaggerate how long their babies sleep. I like cuddling her back to sleep, one day she won't want it any longer. :(


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